Randy, I don't think it was him with Split Enz, it was a drummer named Noel Crombie... no?
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Randy, I don't think it was him with Split Enz, it was a drummer named Noel Crombie... no?
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I am surprised this post received no comments. Nothing but truth in here. Very well put!Quote:
Originally posted by Randy Walker:
For me, watching people I care about admire has stopped me from drugs, booze and such for I have seen others die, a few years ago (plus many around me saying i was moody) I made a decision to seek help, but not in amanner of Prozac or Welbutrin, which in some cases only masks the issue at hand.
Talking with a Head Dr did not really do much other then to me hear myself spit words out. Actually going to my personal Dr helped and made things better on the whole, the problem is not gone, but a btter handle is on it.
But the point is simply, none of you know this for I kept it away, much of what this guy did and what Carlos did, although I have heard that the guys in Crowded House knew of his promblen as far back as 96, I could be wrong on the date.
But, it would seem he kept much to himself to the point of giving in to his depressive dark side and ending his life.
So, when you get into this dark area, it's very tough to actually see light thru the tunnel and ask for help, much like when people get over their heads with money, or other substances.
Nice message Randy, I can relate to your story. Did you that working things out for yourself was the ultimate remedy?
Sometimes, the depression thing can manifest itself into rash behaviour, or actions/behaviour that is out of character. This can be a cry for help though. No doubt Carlos Vega & Paul Hester simply did not want to be themselves any longer in this world - despite family and friends being left behind. I would also steer away from the Prozac etc as it's a screen only. Your'e still not dealing with the real issues.
BTW, Paul was the only Aussie in Split Enz & he joined in 1983, towars the end of their time, before which Noel Crombie was the main drummer. Crowded House were formed by Neil Finn and Paul Hester in 1984. They were joined by Nick Seymour from Australia on bass.
Brave of you to step forward Randy, what a great post.
I think if you are an artist in the most 'artistic' sense of the word, you are (by nature) a very sensative person. It comes with the territory. And with that comes blistering highs, but deep, deep lows.
They are inextricably linked, most musicians by our nature are very in touch with our emotions which can make it so hard at times. Couple that with job insecurity and the music business as a whole, we really set ourselves up for a rollercoaster of emotions. Lord knows I go through rough patches.
As far as suicide is concerned, I can only feel utter compassion for those that decide it's their only way out. Ask yourself honestly - can you imagine the sheer depths of emotion that someone must feel to end their own life? It's very unlikely, otherwise you'd have done the same...
A touching subject indeed...
MP
very true, i meant to add that plus i also had meant to spell check too........ [img]wink.gif[/img]
Thanks Randy.
Definitely the kind of state one must experience before fully understanding (much less judging). But having some experience with suicide it is the most selfish of all acts. No matter how bad things are, there is no excuse for the pain caused to others. It instantly sends them on a new path, changes them as a person in a way (varies from case to case obviously). Especially if you have kids, the message it sends them is something they must deal with for the rest of their lives.
I've also done some time in the dark place where your world is so bad that you just want out. Anything is better than that place it can seem at the time and so hitting the off switch does seem like an option at that point. Then you think of Loved ones and you just can't do that to them.
I do understand both sides though.
Certain things can make all the difference in (your) the world. Sometimes it's the difference between having someone to listen to you, or not. Often times it's hard to change our own perspective, we need someone to to share theirs. It's hard to use logic when you're world is flooded with (negative) emotion. It's just not about brains at that point, so that pretty much explains the behaviors we don't quite get. Like suicide. Like addiction. Think there's no alcoholics in Mensa? The heart and the mind have a totally different criteria and often take turns driving. I happen to think the brain is a much better driver, as the heart often crashes.
[img]wink.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/broken_heart.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ March 30, 2005 02:24 AM: Message edited by: Steve Holmes ]</font>
Good points all around and it's honest of you guys to share. I'm glad things are better for you both. A shrink is like a drum teacher (always drum references - sorry!) you've got to find a good fit. If anyone has difficulty dealing with depression or substance problems support groups (AA, NA) or therapy can definitely help. We know so little about these things. Much of it may just be simple chemical/hormonal imbalances. I'm not a big fan of drugs, but sometimes when used in conjunction with therapy they can bring a person out of the depths of their despair and help them get a perspective on the nature of their feelings.
Brad
Steve, I agree on the suicide as to be the 'easy' out. But I do believe when a person gets to that point, they don't even know what it is they are doing, so as much as I hate the word or thought, i think of total desperation and the lack of escape they have at the moment.
Ashio, for me work is the best outlet, i find when i have down time that I start to dwell on the negative, especially in my case where I sub contract thru an agency for my corporate/wedding work, but as much as I work I'm not paid in a timely fashion, I'm out as far as January for getting paid on gigs.
I just got paid last week for New Years Eve.
It's things like that and have time to think about it where it get's to you. Talking about it is certainly a great avenue if you have someone to trust/confide in,.
I'm sure others have had great success in talking with a head Dr, but it did not work for me.
Something that does work for me is having HOD and the great people I have met or get to chat with on the board.
I'm a gear head and could talk for days about gear/music whatever, for me this has been 1 of the best outlets ever.
Thanks to all of you. [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ March 30, 2005 07:50 AM: Message edited by: Randy Walker ]</font>
Work for me, as for Randy, is also something to immerse yourself in when depression hits. Someone told me a long time ago that when you go to work, you 'walk thru the work door'. By that I mean focusing on that alone and ridding yourself of the usual stresses. Work defines you I think. Which makes the music world ideal if you are able to work in your chosen field.
Even though I work in an office (ugh) I often count myself lucky to be working at all - there's always someone worse off than yourself.
hmm, back to work now...